The Decision to Leave
by Forensic Nurse
Summary: The final straw which led to Grissom taking a sabbatical. Insight into Grissom and Sara's decison to go to Williams.


Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to CSI. I'm just having fun with them. 

Author's Note: _I really want to finish my first story, "The Promised Return", but have not been able to figure out exactly how to end it yet. It made me start thinking about what finally prompted Grissom to take a sabbatical. Throughout the years, he has had to deal with a lot of stress, yet he's managed to control it. I like to think that there was a proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back" and that this is it._

When Grissom arrived home, he found Sara reading in bed, still waiting up for him. She could tell immediately that something significant had happened.

"_Griss, what's going on?"_ She searched his face for clues.

"_Do you want the good news or the bad news first?"_ His look told her that neither would be very good.

"_Just tell me." _Her plea was quiet.

"_When you left tonight the police were on their way to pick up Ernie Dell for the miniature killings."_ Grissom removed his glasses, pinched the bridge of his nose, and squeezed his eyes shut.

"_Yeah? Was there a problem?"_ Sara held her breath, afraid of what his answer might be considering the preliminary signs of a migraine were obvious. He had been under so much stress lately, that the frequency of his migraines had increased dramatically. Typically he was prone to them once or twice a year, but lately it was becoming a weekly occurrence. She had hoped that their relationship, which had been great for over a year, would help relieve some of his stress. Unfortunately, the need to keep their intimacy secret, in order to protect their careers, had further complicated his life. Sara refocused on the man she loved and waited for his response.

"_I guess you could say there was a problem … he committed suicide via webcam, in front of me, just before the police apprehended him." _With that Grissom walked past Sara and into the bathroom.

"_Oh my goodness! Honey, are you okay?_ Sara jumped from the bed and joined Gil in the bathroom.

"_I'll be fine, it's just part of the job, I guess."_ He stripped down to his boxers and turned on the spray of water.

"_You know that I'm here for you. I worry about you because you hold so much inside."_ Sara leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek then pulled him into a comforting embrace._ " You don't have to pretend to be the strong one here."_

He sighed and then took in a breath of her fragrant hair as they hugged. _"Sara, you are the best. I am grateful that we are finally able to be together. I don't know how I could have gotten through the past year without you."_

"_Well, you don't have to ever worry about that again … I'm yours. Go ahead and shower while I fix you something to eat."_ As he started to object, he noticed the determined look on her face and decided to go along with her plan.

* * *

Hours later, he was awakened by a crushing sensation in his chest. Distressed, he tried to get out of bed quietly, but managed to alert Sara in the process. 

"_Griss, is something wrong?"_ Sleepy, but concerned, Sara's voice interrupted the quiet of the room.

"_Don't worry, go back to sleep. It's just a little indigestion. I probably shouldn't have eaten breakfast before bed."_ Sara closed her eyes and had turned to follow his request when the strained quality of his voice penetrated her foggy brain. She snapped her eyes open and sought him out.

There was her guy … standing beside the bed, rubbing the middle of his chest. _"Grissom, how bad is the pain?"_

"_Pain is a relative thing isn't it?"_ His attempt at humor and diversion didn't work.

"_Any kind of chest pain, especially at your age isn't something you should ignore."_ Closer inspection had her worried. _"Griss, you're sweating profusely and look like you can't breath well. I'm calling 911." _

"_Don't be silly. I don't need an ambulance. I'm fine … despite my advanced age."_ He tried to give her a smirk, but failed when another stabbing pain caused him to clutch his chest.

"_You're going to the hospital … end of subject. If you won't let me call 911, I'll drive you."_ Sara grabbed the first things she could find and quickly got dressed. Despite his protests, she loaded him into her SUV and took off at full speed to Desert Palms Hospital.

The ride took longer than she anticipated. Unaccustomed to being out and about during the day, Sara was surprised by the volume of traffic along the Strip. At every light she fussed with him about his male stubbornness and reiterated that people with chest pain should never drive themselves or ride with someone else to the hospital. She watched the clock on her console as they drove, knowing that every precious minute he went without medical care, could impact his life.

She released a huge sigh of relief when the hospital came into view. Pulling up to the emergency entrance, she jumped from the Denali and rounded to the passenger's side to collect him. Her authoritative commands had hospital staff arriving with a wheelchair in seconds.

As they entered the emergency department, nurses and doctors swarmed around them and began to assess the situation. _"What do we have here?"_ asked a fresh faced man wearing a long white jacket.

"_My boyfr …um, supervisor, was having chest pain and we decided to come to the ED for evaluation."_ Sara caught herself just in time, not wanting to reveal her true relationship to Grissom. It was difficult to hide their relationship on a typical day, almost impossible to do so when upset and concerned about his health.

"_Well, sir, let's get you into curtain two and see what we're dealing with here."_ The young doctor motioned forward and Sara began to follow his direction. _"Oh, miss, the waiting room is down the hall on the right."_

"_No, I need her with me."_ Grissom's voice was hoarse with pain.

"_Mr.?"_ His questioning look prompted Gil to answer.

"_Grissom. Dr. Gil Grissom."_ He fought to ignore the pain and prayed that relief would come soon.

"_Oh well, Dr. Grissom we'll be asking you some very personal questions during our assessments. You may be more comfortable if your employee waits down the hall." _The physician was oblivious to the personal relationship between his patient and the beautiful brunette.

"_No, it's fine. She is a trusted friend as well as my coworker. I need her with me."_ In an effort to keep the patient calm, they allowed Sara to stay.

Gil was settled onto a stretched, attached to a heart monitor and given oxygen to wear. An electrocardiogram was performed and blood work taken. The nurses were quite proficient with their tasks. Grissom had rarely been a patient and despite the pain was interested in how the process worked. One nurse, an average-looking blonde, asked him about his medications and allergies.

"_Medications? I don't take anything prescriptive except for an oral triptan for migraines. I have no allergies as far I know." _Grissom looked at Sara and reached out for her hand. His discomfort was obvious given the force of his squeeze.

"_Can he have something for the pain?"_ Sara looked pointedly at the nurse.

"_Of course, we just have to ask a few more questions."_ The interaction between the two did not escape the nurse's attention. _"How bad is your pain on a scale of 0 to 10, Dr. Grissom? Zero obviously means that you have no pain and a score of 10 out of 10 is equivalent to the worse pain you have ever experienced."_

Grissom started to reply with a minimal rating, when Sara's glare caught his attention. _"Probably 8 out of 10 now"_ he quickly amended. Multiple other questions followed, as the duration, quality, and location of the pain were determined.

"_Sometimes chest pain is an indication that you have insufficient blood flow to the heart. Blockages in the vessels around your heart could be an explanation for the inferior blood supply. We intend to give you a medication called Nitroglycerin for the pain. It will cause the arteries around your heart to expand, thereby allowing more blood to get to your heart. Better blood flow should make the pain dissipate." _The young nurse hesitated and looked to ensure that Grissom was able to follow the conversation given his condition.

"_Before we give you this, I need to ask an important question."_ She glanced over to Sara, noting her age and the worried expression on her face, and then focused on Gil again. _"Do you take any medical enhancements?"_

Grissom's befuddled look encouraged the care provider to clarify the question. _"You know, any sexual enhancements? It's not safe to take them in conjunction with Nitroglycerin because they can both severely drop your blood pressure." _

A look of understanding dawned on Grissom's face. Sara turned her head, a rosy blush creeping across her features. _"Um, no … 'sexual enhancements' are not necessary."_

The nurse smiled openly and proceeded to place a Nitroglycerin tablet under his tongue_. "It should burn or sizzle a little. I'll check with you in five minutes and give you another tablet if needed. You can have a maximum of three doses, if your blood pressure tolerates it. We will be monitoring your vital signs and watching your heart monitor while we wait." _

Sara and Grissom found themselves alone, with the exception of a steady beep from the monitors, for the first time since their arrival to the ED. _"Griss, are you hanging in there?" _

"_Well, with the exception of a few slightly embarrassing questions, I'm fine."_ He smiled slightly. _"You should have seen your face when she asked that last question. I guess she was more intuitive than the doctor … she knows we're a couple. She probably figured that I'm too old to perform on my own. Hell, she and that doctor were so young that they made me feel ancient. They had to be like twelve, right?"_

"_Yeah, I agree. It's hard to believe that they are professional health care providers given their youth. At least everyone seems competent." _Sara zeroed her focus on him. _"How's the pain?"_

"_I'm interested in that answer too." _Sara and Grissom looked up with a start. Their primary nurse had returned and slipped in without a sound.

"_Actually, I feel better. The pain is about 5 out of 10."_ He thanked her as she placed another Nitroglycerin tablet under his tongue.

A few hours later, well after his pain had been relieved and the boredom of sitting in the ED had begun to annoy him, a beautiful woman in her thirties entered his cubicle.

"_Dr. Grissom? I'm Dr. Shaughnessy, your new cardiologist. I would like to talk with you about your situation. Even though I do not see any EKG changes and your first set of cardiac enzymes were negative, I feel that we should admit you overnight for observation. That way we can continue to check your blood work for elevated cardiac markers and perform serial EKG's to ensure that no damage is occurring to your heart. We'll move you to a room upstairs as soon as one becomes available."_

* * *

After a seemingly endless wait, Grissom and Sara found themselves settling into a small, but comfortable room upstairs. A knock on the door caught their attention. 

"_Excuse me, Dr. Grissom? I'm Michele, your new nurse. Welcome to our unit." _

Grissom smiled in greeting and tolerated the physical assessment she performed … the fourth or fifth in as many hours.

"_Well, everything looks good. You're not in pain right now and your telemetry or heart monitor shows a normal heart rate and rhythm. You'll be awakened throughout the night for lab draws and EKG's. Unfortunately, you won't get much rest. Just make yourself at home. As far as our visitor's policy, immediate family only is allowed to stay." _

Sara took a deep breath, intending to be honest with the nurse _"Well, I'm actually …" _

Grissom reached for her hand to stop her in mid-sentence. _"Sweetheart, it's great that you can stay with me. Maybe our nurse could show you where we can get some ice and clean towels."_

Sara and Grissom shared a look of understanding. It was obvious that he wanted her to stay with him.

Later as Gil rested in bed, he watched as Sara struggled to rest in a straight-back chair. _"Sara, why don't you lie down beside me for a while? You are not going to be able to relax in that chair."_

Sara crinkled her nose before responding. _"Isn't it against the rules? Not to mention I don't think I can handle it. I'm scared to sleep in a hotel, thanks to the evidence I've collected in them. Who knows what kind of biological materials have been on those sheets?"_

"_I think we can risk it for a night. You like to live dangerously, right? After all, you are sleeping with your boss." _His smile was infectious_. "Come on. We'll be back at home in the morning."_ He slid over to make room for her and patted the bed beside him. Sara climbed in, cuddled up with him and together they fell asleep.

Morning came early. A team, consisting of Dr. Shaughnessy, a few residents, an intern, and two medical students entered. Michele, his nurse was with the group. _"Who's presenting?"_ Dr. Shaughnessy looked to her colleagues.

An impossibly young looking man with a nervous demeanor stepped forward, reading from his index cards. _"This is Dr. Grissom, a 53-year old Caucasian male who was admitted with 8/10 substernal chest pain with radiation to the left arm. He was short of breath and diaphoretic on exam. Pain was relieved with three sublingual Nitroglycerin tablets. He has been pain free since. His vitals are stable and he is in a normal sinus rhythm at 60bpm on telemetry. Three sets of cardiac enzymes were negative and there were no appreciable EKG changes noted."_

Grissom and Sara listened patiently to the rest of the physician's rounds. As the group concluded, Gil looked expectantly at Dr. Shaughnessy.

"_Dr. Grissom, it is my opinion that your chest pain was non-cardiac in nature. Have you experienced an unusual amount of stress lately?" _

Grissom sighed. _"Yes, work has been difficult lately. I'm sure you've seen on the news that our lab has been tracking a serial killer."_

Dr. Shaughnessy looked at him with realization. _"Yes, but didn't I hear this morning that the suspect in question committed suicide?"_

Grissom nodded. _"I'm not at liberty to disclose any details, but I did witness a suspect's suicide right before this admission." _

"_It's possible that your chest pain was precipitated by that event. I recommend that you make an effort to reduce the stressors in your life … your health depends on it. I will follow up with you in a month or so, just to make sure that you are doing well. Otherwise I see no reason why you can't be discharged home today. Here's my card in case you have questions." _Grissom reached for Dr. Shaughnessy's card and placed it in his wallet.

Sara breathed a sigh of relief after the medical team left. _"Thank goodness it wasn't a heart attack or something."_ She began to gather his belongings.

"_Sara, can you sit down for a minute?" _She sat beside him and he clasped her hand with his. _"Honey, I know that we've been talking about the teaching offer from Williams and couldn't decide what to do about it. We both agreed that it wasn't a good time to leave while we were working on the miniature serial case. Our focus had to be on identifying the miniature killer. At the same time, we have had to support Greg with his civil suit. It has never seemed like the right time to leave … until now. I think that this experience has made my decision for me. I am going to take it, if it's okay with you. If I don't, I'm worried that I won't be able to give you the love and support you deserve."_

"_I agree that you need to take care of yourself. If that means going on sabbatical, then I support your decision. It will be hard being separated from you, but I can do it if that's what you need."_ She leaned over to wrap her arms around him and kissed him sweetly. "_You are the most important thing in my life."_

* * *

By midday they were leaving the hospital and heading home. On the way out, they ran into Dr. Robbins. _"Gil? Sara? What are you doing at Desert Palms?"_

"_Oh, hi Al. We're um, just following up on a lead. How about you?"_ Grissom slid on his sunglasses to hide the truth.

"_There is an educational seminar for coroner's here today. Isn't it a little late in the day for you to be following a lead? Shouldn't you two be at home by now?"_ Dr. Robbins looked to Sara, noticing her mismatched clothes.

She felt his gaze and knew that they were about to be busted. _'Damn'_ she thought, _'I should have taken more time to get dressed yesterday.' _She looked up at the mild-mannered older physician and smiled. _"You know us, Doc, always willing to do whatever it takes to follow the evidence. Griss, we should head out."_

With a wave, they were off. Dr. Robbins had a strange feeling. Suddenly he realized that neither Grissom nor Sara had been on shift last night. He turned to scan the parking lot and saw then getting into Sara's vehicle. _"Hmm, I wonder what's going with those two?"_ Albert remembered a conversation he had recently had with Grissom. According to the entomologist, he had never been in a serious relationship …having only proposed marriage to his second-grade classmate. _"I think maybe I should keep a closer eye on him and Sara. It could turn out to be interesting."_ Dr. Robbins continued on his way.

Sara and Grissom finally made it home, falling into an exhausted sleep. When the time came to awaken, they knew that they would have to return to their normal routine … with one exception. Now, they would begin preparing for their month-long separation. Hopefully, the sabbatical would give them both a new perspective on life.


End file.
